Please love me...

by Gold
(Philippines)

Every wife that ever walk on this entire planet... Wanted only one thing, to have a happy family and be loved by their husband.

But that is not the case for me.

Everytime that my husband and I had an argument... It is always my fault. Even if I feel that it is his fault... There is ALWAYS A REASON FOR HIM to turn things around and point the blame on me.

I felt always useless. Just like a flower vase in our house. Just a decoration. Just a mother for our child and nothing more. I felt like he doesn't love me anymore.

I tried to be close... But he is so distant. He is just beside me but I can't feel his presence. I know I also have my faults but the torture is too much. I can't take it anymore. It's bleeding me to death. My heart is crushed and I felt so lifeless.

Everyday is a battle. To be heard.... Seen... Felt... Loved. Sometimes I just wanted to end it all. But I am just surviving because of our son. He is the only one who makes me alive.

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Nov 14, 2017
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Answer to "Please Love Me"
by: Lee

I know what you mean by just being a wife and mother and feeling unseen, unheard and unappreciated. Truth is....as young girls we are conditioned to believe that once we are married we will live happily ever after as if all our dreams will come true because of love. Truth is....you have accomplished only one small part of your dreams...married. You were madly in love with each other and it was so strong, but reality is that it is very very special but it does grow dull. Working to make a living, cooking and cleaning and taking care of a child is not exciting. We are tired and have little time to be ourselves anymore. I as a married women of 30 years have had a great deal of time to learn this. Gold, you do not have to depend on your husband and child for all the love you need. Only you know how you want to be loved. Your child and husband can only love you as they can. This is not a fairytale where you are now a queen because you married your prince. I am not trying to be harsh. I am trying to tell you something as one women to another, something simple yet difficult to understand. ONLY YOU CAN LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE LOVED. Reach deep within yourself and see that little girl with the beautiful soulful eyes that just wants to be adored forever. Now hug that little girl and give her all your love and attention just like you give to your child and husband. Encourage that little girl within you to be free to express herself on paper, on a canvas or within your home. Set a bit of time each day just for that little girl who needs so much love. Even if that means sitting quiet and thinking about all the dreams little Gold has about her life. Now do what you can within your married life to love Little Gold and make her life happy. Sometimes I just take a walk and speak inside my mind to my little girl and tell her how sweet and adorable she is just the way she is. I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you Gold. I want you as an adult to give your little soul the love and appreciation you deserve. Don't expect your loving husband to know how to be a perfect soap opera hero. He is just a man. He does not know all your desires, only you do. You want love and appreciation and romance. Romance yourself, give yourself candy and flowers. Give yourself love and acceptance. As a woman you can love your child and husband and continue to be a wonderful mother and wife. Just set a little creative time aside for Gold. Use your mother's voice to tell Little Gold how perfectly loveable she is. Blessings
to you. Give thanks for life, it is your life, make it wonderful.

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