People can't hear my silent screams. They don't understand.

by S
(Morgantown,West Virginia,US)

I'm beginning my year of High school..I have been depressed ever since last year which was when I was in 8th grade. I was constantly taunted by the people who goes to my school.It came to the point where I had to go see a therapist but that didn't help me. I got taunted because I always hung out the people who didn't have much friends. I have a guy friend and I always got teased by the people in my school when I was talking to him, They always said that I was dating him,When I was not. So one day after I got home I just got so fed up with life,The only choice I thought was to cut myself. Once I made the first cut I didn't want to stop it was like a drug to me.So the next day I had hid the cuts away from my parents because I didn't want them to see it,But then one day when I was doing my hair my mother came in and saw my cuts on my arm. She asked me why did I do this to myself and I gave her no response. So then my mother ends up telling my whole family about what happened. She grounds me and here I am in my room alone and crying because nobody understand the pain those kids at my school made me feel. I felt horrible that I did that to myself but it was the only choice I thought I had. My parents made me talk to the counselor at school about it,But the counselor did nothing about it she just told me to ignore what the people said,But I couldn't..I couldn't just ignore them. When I got home that day there was silence in the house the whole rest of the evening,When I went to my room I feel asleep in my bed,When I woke up..I woke up to discover my aunt crying next to me with her holding my arm out with the cuts. She lectured me about it and told me to stop cutting myself. Ever since the cutting incident I have told myself I would never do it again,But ever since I told myself I would never do it again...It led me into depression,And I still am depressed till this day.It just seems like nobody understands me and I try to smile and make everybody happy but I just can't. I have sadness inside of me and I'm going under alot of stress because I'm now entering high school and I'm pressuring myself more and more to hopefully do good in high school. This would be my first time I have ever written my story online for everybody to see,But I just needed to get my feelings out and tell everyone.