by Anna-Lea
(Uk)
I know that my lifestyle is different to others, I know that my mum has her own life. My mum is the main person I see out of the three people, I go round at night where it's just time I want with her and she's always texting or talking on the phone. I sit there thinking what's the point?
I don't think I will always be depressed I believe there will be something in the future that will be rewarding for me and to others, may be that's just make-believe and a part of my imagination... I don't know.
I ignore being depressed, I am on tablets and I think they help, I am not as bad as I were last year.
I try not to get angry like I used to, I try very hard to be nice. How ever the only thing that's winds me up is men being mummies boys - it really pisses me off.
When I think about my nanna passing over that makes me sad, I have been here for 12 years and don't want to let go. I am scared I will be on my own.
My work brings me joy - I like learning new things
ANSWER:
Thanks for sharing Anna-Lea. In your journey, one thing that stuck out to me was your mom's behavior while with you. This unfortunately occurs with people who are very driven and task oriented and forget about relationships. Believe it or not, I can have this tendency too and my husband has to gently remind me to put down my phone at times. :)
Please gently remind your mom that you'd like her to be in the moment with you and that when she's busy on the phone, it makes you feel... unimportant. I wonder - could you say that? It must be done in a loving and gentle tone - communicated in such a way that you love being with her! If you don't bring up the courage to lovingly address it, your relationship will continue the way it is. I'm very grateful when my husband reminds me- and he uses a gentle tone - not a lashing out tone. He's simply reminding me.
Another great idea is to seek to learn how your mom needs to be loved. What can you do to fill her emotional tank? Below is a link for a further explanation. It talks about marital relationships but love languages also have to do with friendships and especially parent-child. If you can figure out your mom's love language and build into her tank, she will be more prone to want to build into yours too. Parents need reminders some times. :)
Take the 5 love languages quiz here... (Opens in a new window.)
When you go through it, you may say to yourself: "What about MY emotional tank?!" But, like I mentioned, if you seek to fill others emotional tanks little by little - not obsessively - you will find that they will want to fill yours too. Your motivation though must not be -to get in return -but simply because you'd want someone to do the same for you. :) Treat others how you want to be treated.
I'm very glad that your work brings you joy and that you like learning new things! Yay! Keep doing that!
There is hope! You are worth it!
Merri Ellen :)