I feel low

by Marlene
(South africa)

Im being pushed further and further away from my husband.he doesnt tell me he loves me anymore.when we go out it feels like i dont even exist cos his attention,focus and his eyes r on other woman.i was his world now im nothing.after baby my situation is worst,i feel im not good enough,i cannot do anything right.i need help.i feel low and depressed.


RESPONSE:

Thank you for sharing. Feel free to find help on marriage, plus online mentoring at...

Feel free to find help on marriage, plus online mentoring here...

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Sep 08, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		Positive!
by: Yannis

I think that you have to change your perspective a little. Start focusing on yourself! There is nothing more important than being ok with yourself and always, always be positive!
Aug 31, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		I am doing a report
by: Anonymous

I am doing a report on this subject. Your article is full of really useful information. I will make sure to come back to check out your posts for my next report. Cheers.
Jul 30, 2013
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starstarstarstarstar 		marriage (part 2/2)
by: Leona

My comment is a little long so had to do it in two parts.

I don't cook every night because my hubby complains about my cooking. He is a much better cook, so I do the dishes and cook occasionally. That's compromise, and I smile because he expects me to cook everyday for him even though he puts me down. Don't let him put you down. I'm not saying go to battle or argue, just KNOW in your own heart that his word though hurtful are not always true. You are a great person, he is just trying to mold you to fit his idea of a perfect mate. Men do this by making us feel worthless sometimes. Don't ever feel worthless, love and praise yourself and do the best you can. Marriage is a fine art, read up on it and find what works for you and him. Books by Dr. John Gray "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is a good book to start with, it show the different expectations men and women have and how to communicate in a non threatening way. I just felt the need to help you if I can, not to let your husband's mean ways bring you so low that it causes depression. He doesn't realize what he is doing, he is just following what he sees his father do. I have been severely depressed over my marriage, and wanted to give you some ideas how to make things better. Remember you are just fine the way you are, you do not need to be "fixed" because he says so. He is just human. He is not your master. We make them so important in our lives because we love them and want to be perfect wives. Remember to love yourself as much as you love him. Use your woman's heart to find balance in the relationship. Be true to yourself too. Treat yourself the way you would a good friend. Good Luck in your search for answers.
Jul 30, 2013
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starstarstarstarstar 		marriage (part 1/2)
by: Leona

You feel like your husband doesn't love you anymore. So many marriages follow this path, we take each other for granted and stopped saying I LOVE YOU. I have been married 25 years. There are times I still get butterflies over him. As a young woman I had the idea that getting married meant that I was going to live happily ever after. We think the man we love and marry will always be our knight in shining armor. Truth is he is doing the same as what his father did. "Got the wife, she can take care of me cause I'm the man". The woman thinks the same way, "he will always take care of me". Marriage takes a conscious effort to keep romance alive. You must tell him that you need him to tell you everyday that he loves you. Tell him when you are both quiet and content, not when you are angry and upset. Children, so precious and important will take most of your free time, its a fact. You must plan together to go out on a date and leave child with a trusted care giver, at least once every two weeks. Talk about holding hands, and doing the little things that dating couples do. Dress up and do something like a movie or dinner or simply a drive. Marriage, relationships need a little communication. First know what you want him to do and ask gently for it, but don't make it a demand or a condition. He can not be expected to just know. Love makes us blind, and its a good thing to have love to soften our high expectations. Lastly I have learned long and hard, that I need to love myself and not measure myself by his yard stick. What I mean is, you don't need his approval of you, you do not need to be fixed, you were perfect when he met you and you still are. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't make an effort to find out what his expectations are, just that you must find balance and do what is comfortable and acceptable to you.

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