Hope for a cure.

by JJ
(Fairfield)

I have had depression for 30 years. But this is the worst that I have felt in a very long time.
I am running out of hope with my depression now. This all started when I lost my job and have not been able to find work. The weight of my depression is like a dark cloud weighing me down. I don't want to go anywhere especially look for work. I have lost 25 pounds in 2 months and still losing weight. I cannot eat or sleep. is this normal? I have lost interest in having a good time. I have no friends or family who care. I need to find work before i loose my apartment. I am scared with fear and anxiety and lots of worrying.I need to stop all the negativity in my head to go away.
All of this is making my life suck.

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Mar 26, 2013
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response to Hope for a Cure
by: Pam Borum

Yes, yes, it is normal for a depressed individual. The feelings of low self worth is I believe what we all suffer with if we are in this kind of a predicament. You have real reasons for your depression and many of them you may not be aware of just yet.

I believe depression can be a way to achieve greatness in our life. (I can't believe I just said that since I only started this program about a week ago.)

Work these steps. Do what it suggests. I have made an effort of a depressed person. This means I haven't gotten it all down, but what I have done has helped me tremendously. I couldn't get myself out of bed. I was confused and disoriented.

I was on meds, but am weaning off of them now. I have moments I have felt better than I have in a long time. I am not cured by no means. Crashes still come, but I am not absorbed by them and they don't last as long. I have been in bed for probably three months. Depression keeps me from keeping track of time, which probably is a good thing, because this just means I have been living in the moment. One day I will be out of this I believe and hope I realize this time was just for me. You need your time too. I know it is difficult. I know the feeling of possibly being homeless. It scares me, but I am making it through. I guess it was by the Grace of God.

You will make it better for yourself, I just know it. You are wonderful to share, you are wonderful to have feelings so deep they can make you feel like you are wiped off the planet.

Depression feels hideous, but improvements in your diet, and working the rest of the steps are going to help you. Some days will be worse than others. Some days you will probably feel like you are cured. Hopefully we both will feel this and be cured. For now, let us cherish the slight improvements in our healing process. It is better than falling even though you may fall again tomorrow. Maybe those times will become less and less and then we can live in a world and make contributions to others who are going to fall into the place we are and have been.

Good luck to you,
Please let me know how you are doing. I see a bright light for you ahead.
You are worth it.
I started a blog with my improvements. I believe this was just after my first installment and had only seen a bit of improvement. Otherwise, I couldn't have shared the depth of the pain because it clouded all my thoughts. If you would like to visit my blog here is the link.

http://takeanotherlittlepieceofmyart.blogspot.com/
Take care of yourself. Work the steps, you might be amazed at yourself too.

Pam

Oct 29, 2012
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Hope for a cure
by: Anonymous

Very sorry to hear you are suffering so. Do you have a doctor to go to? If not please call a crisis help line. I know how you feel. I suffer myself and know its hard. Please try to get help . Remember people care. You just need to ask the right people.

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